blog
5/31/25 - 9:01 PM
damn i severely underestimated how much time it'd take me to animate 20 minutes of talking LOL. did a lot of goin out and doing stuff this month and also spent a lotta time on and off workin on this big ass video and an older project that i've been excited to work more actively on.
animating is my favorite part of most of my projects, and editing audio is probably one of the hardest for me to sit down and get done. so i assumed that since all the footage was shot and everything was written, recorded, and edited that doing my favorite part would be a breeze after i pushed the boulder up the hill. but animating 20 minutes was actually kinda crazy (the video was actually like 32 minutes before i chopped it down to 20). it didn't dawn on me how much i had set out to animate until i was like 2 minutes of animation into doing keyposes. i didn't intially set out to make the biggest video i've ever made but that's what it is now LOL. the 20 minutes isnt too crazy i was able to reuse a lot of poses and do stuff pretty economically. i probably won't do inbetweens though as much as i want to just because that'd take a stupid long time. i'd really like to since it's one of my favorite parts of the process... more reason to scale back my next video in this style.
scope has been something that i've been wrestling a lot with in my creative projects since the second half of college. when i set out to do something, i don't initially intend for it to be bigger than everything i've done before, but that ends up being what i want to make. i set out to make these big crazy projects because subconsciously i want to prove to myself and others what i'm capable of and express my vision. making something really cool that i feel like represents my personality and artistic ability and sensibilities feels like the best way to express myself sometimes. i have a little too much faith in myself, so in my head when im like "let's make a five episode mini series in 2 months" or "let's animate 20 minutes of full 3d animation in 3 days" i don't realize how foolish my ambition is. side projects falling through over the past couple years has humbled me a bit in this regard, and my project scope has gotten a lot more realistic since then, but it's still lowkey unrealistic a lot of the time. it's lowkey a miracle that this video i'm working on is almost done and it's kind of crazy that i started it as a small project to do in a week to get ready for a bigger one... i have no sense of scope and time for real. one of the many things i'm growing and getting better at i suppose...
i usually keep my irl talk pretty brief on here since i like keeping the blogposts mostly about art and creative stuff. went out of the country for a weekend and that was nice. pleasant month spending a lot of time with my partner and saw some friends throughout the month.
i'm lowkey a reclusive person because of the pressure i have on myself to make art related stuff work as a career and as my future. spending a lot of time working towards stuff gives me a bit of peace of mind feeling like i'm working hard towards making things work and having a finnancially stable future. so i'm naturally inclined to prefer being at home working on art stuff over hanging with friends if i feel like i'm falling behind on deadlines and stuff. i feel like i'll have more peace of mind and it'll be easier to let myself relax once my future looks more clear and i have a stable source of income.
did an animation test for a potential job in the second half of this month for some youtube channel that's launching in a month and i didn't end up getting the position. sucks cause the job sounded nice and would've been really nice to have and make money while i build up my personal work but i could also see the job not working out because of miscellaneous minor red flags in their wording on the site. nothing crazy but enough for me to see potential issues down the line from my experience. applying to it was good experience though and gave me more drive to apply to different jobs online this month.
also put a bit of pressure on myself around my birthday every year cause i see my family and feel older and feel like i gotta get my life together asap. had a good may and hopefully june will be chill and i find a job and finish my stuff lol. see u next month.