blog
3/26/25 - 1:23 AM
being unemployed for a couple months after being employed and being hyper-competent and excelling in my position for three months has left me feeling very "damn".
lookin for a job and realizing my skillset is focused on animation but also broad in other creative disciplines (writing, illustration, music, etc) but not broad enough to the point where i feel like i could persue them all professionally. also realizing the fact that my aversion to using expensive and frankly backwards industry standard programs (maya, adobe, etc.) has come to bite me in the fact that most jobs looking for someone with my skillset are looking for someone with solid years of experience handling those programs (ive got alright experience but it'd take me a bit to adjust from my usual bread and butter). this is all before the fact that the creative/art job market is a wasteland right now, remote and in-person in a non-LA city.
in turn, ive realized that i put a lot of pressure on myself to do these creative personal projects that i do as fast as i can. almost all the freelance work i've gotten in the past has been from creative people coming across something ive made and being interested in working together. so the more stuff im able to make the more opportunities ill have access to, and the more work im able to point to when inquiring about opportunities.
i know failiure is necessary for success, and i feel like i havent had too many failiures art-wise. but being unemployed and personal projects moving slow has given me a lot of time to feel like a failiure.
its been a weekish since i wrote all that (above was written 3/26 and im writing this bottom part on 4/3) and went on a nice trip since writing that. reflecting on everything, i think ive always been unrealistic about how much time things take and its easy sometimes to forget the #1 rule that ill always stand by: enjoying the process rather racing to the product. its easy to forget when things take too long and ideas bounce in ur head for extended periods of time and u just want them out so u can move onto something else. ive been workin on these projects but i could definitely be more intentional about enjoying the process of the different practices im engaging with
daily schedule has been picking up, reading and excercising and going out and being responsible and intentional about my time and all that. if im feeling really crazy ill drop a dawg log this month as a quick break between my other projects. anywho i'll see u guys at the end of the month and we'll see how this one shakes out.